This has been a long time coming and we aren’t sure how best to explain, to put it simply, we have given up looking. A long time ago we had a great deal going for us and had no idea. In recent months, we have struggled to figure out how to put the pieces back together and while also hiding the truth. Today, we must finally face you all and explain what is going on.

Those of you who are on our Discord probably know him as Carl Pletcher, our resident tortoise. Yes, he is a tortoise. Can’t you see his shell is domed and not flat?! But what many don’t know is at one point in time, we attempted to find Carl a friend. Carl told us he was lonely and tired of having such a stressful uninspiring job. He had become so frustrated that he only wanted to stay inside his shell all day and be a meanie to our Discord users. We thought, maybe we could help and bring Carl out of his shell if only he had a friend. Maybe, Carl could find it in his heart to no longer delete messages with >50% caps used. Or possibly, he would let you post 8 photos in a row.

Finding friends such as Carl is a slow process these days. Realistically, you don’t often stumble upon a digital tortoise dedicated to yelling at people and tattle telling to mods. In ye olden days, digital tortoises used snail mail. We aren't even sure how that worked, but that's what Carl told us. Now they communicate over SnapChat. Do you know how hard it is for a tortoise to use SnapChat? Think of the logistics people! We did manage to help Carl find a friend, Terry. However, it seems Terry has..well…slowed down his efforts. We haven’t told Carl this yet but we have determined Terry has ghosted us. We’ve been left on read for 6 whole days after Carl invited Terry to join our HoFa family. Do you think maybe Carl wanted to move too fast?

We are still keeping Carl in the dark on this issue but have decided that maybe we could bring Terry to the HoFa family after all… 

After convincing Will and explaining that we can’t keep looking for Carl a digital tortoise friend, we now have a solution! We have to entice Terry to join the HoFa family by appealing to his ego!

To entice Terry, from today until April 7th at midnight, Will is selling Terry the Terribly Slow Tortoise companions in hopes Terry will one day show up and take his spot in the HoFa family. These offer a small show and twin boost! As far as Carl knows…Terry asked for a train ticket from us and is actually on his way, he's just a bit slow…heh.

Will also has a stockpile of a few other old companions which he hopes to get out of his store ASAP. 

Whew. Glad to get that off our chest. Anyway, it's the start of a new week and we hope it is fantastic for you all!

Cheers,

Bedouin & Curly